Me: "You know, if I thought I could carry one without zapping myself, I would *love* to carry a taser." (I'm the girl who managed to mace herself carrying the mace my boyfriend *insisted* I carry in "dangerous" downtown Worcester.)
Him: "You couldn't taser yourself - the way the newer ones work, it's almost impossible."
Me: "Yeah, but if anyone could do it, it would be me."
Him: *laughing* "I can see it now - you come home with burn marks all over your hip. God, it touched my pager and the battery in that arced to my cell phone, and then my knitting caught fire. My whole SCARF is GONE!"
Me: "That would be the part that would piss me off the most. Talk about insult to injury!"